ComeBack Blog

 

I honestly don’t know what to name this blog...
So let’s just say it’s an open-ended log.

The NEET exam just concluded, and boy have I a lot of things to add from my personal experience from the whole shebang! First off all; what even happened? Physics? I mean… who even made this paper? If you wanted to refine the selection process, you should have at least made the paper moderately tough, not inhumanely tough!? The physics section really made me question my choice for taking a drop year.

I mean… if I knew beforehand, by some magical intervention, that this was the fate in store for me, I would have done a full 180 and backed the hell away and done a whole different stream by then.

Just kidding! I am not that weak of a person. Still, I am hoping to get into a good medical college this year-round and continue my studies with renewed gusto from there on. This year has taught me a lot of things… among them included that life is not about scoring great marks all the time, nor is it about being the best academically; it’s about learning from your mistakes, and emerging out of them knowing what it is that you wish to do, and you want to become. There is more than one way to achieve what you have set out to do.

Unfortunately, the Indian education system would beg to differ otherwise with you on this matter. They follow this rigid, linear model of education, which to me seems a bit suffocating, and bland. Other countries, like the United States and the UK, follow a more relaxed and holistic, all interest-encompassing model of education, which fosters creativity and an innovative mindset as well.

Now, I know some will say; “Oh you are only saying this because you don’t fare well in the Indian education system, and so you are finding ways to cope with your incompetence in this world of competitiveness and genius! Our system is no less effective than the other ones out there; it’s you who needs to change, not the system!” and I would say you are not totally wrong; except for the fact that I actually used to come at the top half of the chain of students who gave exams, studied for tests and gave tons of assignments in schools. I am not saying I am a really good student, cause in fact, I am not. In fact, I consider myself to be a mediocre child at best. I am not really quick to grasp concepts which are too difficult to understand.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t love the subjects I have chosen. It just means that I need a bit more time than others to grasp things to the core level. I am someone who will not stand still until they haven’t understood the concept they are faced with to the most minute detail, just for their self-gratification. Yes, I am that kinda guy.

The thing is; I like studying for fun, but when it comes to studying for a competition, you need to narrow your field of vision to a certain kind of practice and conceptual learning. I believe that’s what coaching are for. They train us to think in ways suitable for cracking a competitive exam for which we are preparing. And a vital thing for that is taking a look at previous year questions and analysing the trend from those questions. This gives even the average joes a chance at becoming what they thought is only possible in their dreams.

But oh, how cruel the Indian education system is!

Just when you think you will do superb this year, and break your miserable trend of performing abysmal in competitive exams, comes the year 2025.

NTA decides that it has had enough, and decides to give students a taste of what hell would feel like, if you are preparing for a competitive exam. And unleashes the beast known by the name of NEET 2025. I mean… what can I even say about this exam? It was… a roller coaster, to say the least.

First time I entered the exam hall; I was so damn full of hope and excitement. “I will ace this time for sure! Nothing’s stopping me from getting a good medical college this time!”. But as soon as I open the paper, all the thoughts shift to one: “What in the fresh hell is this??!!”

The paper was beyond anything I could have ever expected. I usually open my paper and start with the physics section, because of my general love of physics and numerical. But this paper… the moment I open physics; I am in shock. 2^nd question… Jesus! Then I couldn’t figure out a whole page of questions! That was an all-time low for me. I decided to boycott physics and move on to chemistry. It was a bit easier, but boy did they have to make it hard as well!

The entire paper was more or less like this. I was a lot more pressured to attempt the rest of the questions, and my mind started going blank, cause why wouldn’t it? The paper was so goddamn hard man! Why would anybody create this for someone prepping for a medical course?? These thoughts were always on my mind while I was attempting my paper. To add sugar to the wound, there were only four fricking sets!! Only four. I mean-

You might as well have said to us “Hello dear students. We are handing you this piece of paper. hope you have a hellish time attempting all these questions. Under 10 minutes. While knowing naught about how to solve them. Good luck!”. Like, what do they even want from us?? Haven’t you given us enough well-wishes to last us a life-time by now?

Anyway, now that the paper is over, and life is somewhat returning to normal, I am now done with NEET. I am now planning to focus on other parts of my life, like getting my body back in shape, and other things as well. You got to keep those things in mind too, you know?! The exam didn’t go the way I wanted it to, but it doesn’t matter; we will rebuild our lives from this setback. This is just that. A setback. Something I can recover from and make something of. It’s also something I should learn from. Life is about learning from your mistakes and making a newer and better path for yourself to move forward.

I have already wasted a year of my life in pursuit of the perfect ending. I now think that the universe sometimes doesn’t want things to go that way for you. But I guess whatever happens, happens for the best. You should just move on and think ahead.

That aside, the education system in India seems to not favour the students at any turn. Whether it be competitions, or entrance exams, things are really competitive here. To add to that is the bludgeoning pressure created by your dear parents about performing well. When you perform bad, what comes to your mind is “I have failed so many people and let down so many expectations.” Instead of “I could have done better. It’s okay! I will do better next time. Life doesn’t end here for me!” Instead of hope, we are filled with dread from the beginning. This is what I really hate about the system. The system does not show mercy on you. Nor does it care about people who have failed to make it in life. And it prioritises only a handful of career options. Ones which have been in popularity polls since the beginning of the modern education age.

One is medicine. The field of medicine is a lucrative one. I will not deny it. It’s also made me think that most of the people join this field solely for the vast amounts of green it offers at times. To me, it kind of pisses me off. I personally think medicine isn’t just a way to bring in some cash for you to enjoy spending. But people actually spend a considerable time of their lives trying to crack the medical exam for creating a better future for themselves. They really put a lot of effort into this for themselves. I sometimes imagine how hard it must have been for them, sacrificing some crucial years of their lives; studying like crazy, doing all they can to better their situation and have a fighting chance at a better life and a well-respected one.

It sure must be rewarding for them. I hope the same turns out for me too. I know I have not done as I should have, as was demanded of me in the situation. But I know that I need to move on and face things with a positive attitude. It’s situations like these which test a person’s character the most. How he behaves in front of others. You can say when times like these come, the person in question comes the closest to showing his true colours. Whether he will lash out or… be silent… stop contact even with his closest friends… anything can happen after all. But back to the main topic. Droppers sacrifice a lot of their time which they could have spent in college trying to set their lives straight.

I have tried to do the same.

Now… I can only hope that I can move forward with my intended plans and start preparing for my medicine courses, because what I want more than anything in the world right now is to become a doctor and do what I love the most, and what I feel myself to be the best at: medicine. I don’t care if it’s not the university I was hoping to join. This year has at least made me realise that you should accept what life is throwing at you, if it satisfies your objectives in the long run. No wonder being prideful is considered a sin by many. If your gamble does not pay off, it leads to a whole new mess being created.

Honestly, I know I have repeated this a thousand times by now, but I just cant seem to stop saying this one thing, since it can’t seem to go out of my mind until the results come out. I simply want a medical college this year-round. I will be happily done with my life after that, and start focusing on other parts of my life.   I value my own sanity too, you know?

I also think its time for me to get a move on from my current life. So here I am. Writing whatever comes to my emptied mind. Honestly, I cant with all the 11^th and 12^th syllabus. It gets to me too much sometimes. I have given a lot of effort to crack one this one exam now. I honestly don’t think I should give any more. You should know when to consider it a well-done effort and think of a new strategy of doing things.

I have started doing some new things, like writing when I am free. There’s also reading a lot of comics and fiction too. Well, since I am a lot freer these days then I was in the past few months, things are going easier.

Other than that, there’s nothing more that’s been going on with my life as of late. Had a surgery, which has made me unable to do much of anything for the past few days. Wont be able to do much for the nest week or so too. Basically, I developed what you can call a tunnel of sorts near my anal orifice. Trust me, it’s really painful when you press down on that. The area around it swells up a lot. I had developed the sinus approx. 2 to 3 months back, but couldn’t do much about it, since had to study for my entrance and everything. But now that I was free, I along with my parents decided to get the surgery done, for my own sake. The aftermath though, is painful as hell. There’s no sugarcoating that for sure. After I got the surgery done, I was hospitalised for post-op care for 2 days.

Welp, there’s really nothing much to say here. I am just typing away as I wanna take up more words, hehe.

It’s been sooo long since I wrote anything after all. I have been at this for the last two weeks, and still don’t wanna stop! It’s just this much fun for me, uk. Recently, I was having trouble figuring out how to write the way I normally write my chat messages. But my simple bonehead couldn’t comprehend that all you need to do is turn off the check grammar option on word, and it wont pester you for every wrongly-written word like your english teacher when she is in an extremely bad mood for having tripped on the butter, and slid away like ice on the platform.

Right now, I just write sporadically, when I want to. There’s no time bound limit to when I have to write, though sometimes I think that would help keep things in track a bit more efficiently.

Anyway, I guess I can only write this much for now, before my mind gets deep-fried like an oven dish. I didn’t really write this for any story-esque appeal, or for furthering my “writing prowess” (I even doubt I have had any of that in the time I have written all these blogs, haha!) I simply write when I feel like it. There’s not really a solid schedule for it.

Well.. I guess this is the first in (hopefully) a long line of such long ramblings of mine. If anyone has managed to stick to the end of it all, kudos to you, and also… why? What made you soooo interested in the ramblings of a kid who has made a lot of stupid decisions. Well, it’s your choice. I can just thank you for giving some of your time to actually process all this mess.

Anyway, hope you all are doing greast, wherever you are, and hopefully I will write some other messy document some other time!